For Your Sass Master (Someecards + Anne Taintor Starters)
- "Good morning. I see the assassins have failed."
- "Well that's a level of incompetence I have not seen before."
- "Did it hurt when you came up out of the ground from Hell?"
- "I'd call you a douchebag but that'd imply you could get near a vagina."
- "Here, let me wipe that bullshit from your mouth."
- "My business isn't your business so unless you're my thong don't be up my ass."
- "Two things. 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?"
- "I'd like to say I understand your point of view. Unfortunately, I'm not batshit crazy too - so that's impossible."
- "Your crazy is showing; you might wanna tuck that back in."
- "Well aren't you just a fun little lollipop triple dipped in psycho."
- "I feel a spree coming on. It's either a shopping one or a killing one. The choice is totally up to you."
- "Oh darling, I don't do spite. I do karma."
- "Look...I'm trying to rant here. Stop interrupting me with 'facts' and 'reason'."
- "Honey, you couldn't handle half of me."
- "Think of me as a challenge."
- "Ladies and gentleman, may I have your undivided attention please; I'm happy to announce that shit just got real."
- "I propose a toast to the booze for making you all seem tolerable."
- "If some people were on fire, I'd happily toast marshmallows"
- "According to serving sizes, I'm a family of four."
- "Salmonella my ass, I'm eating the batter."
- "I can't tell if I'm dealing well with life these days or I just don't give a shit anymore."
- "Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice."
- "I get enough exercise just pushing my luck."
- "Put on your life preserver, I'm about to rock this boat."
- "I think we should just be friends with sexual tension."
- "You are going to be fine. You come from a strong line of lunatics."
- "Nothing you say can shock me honey."
- "Of course you look good. I don't have ugly friends."
- "I believe we have an opportunity to make some extremely poor choices."
- "We're total fucking badasses."
- "You have a sick, twisted mind. Do you want to be my friend?"
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